Friday, October 14, 2016

Signs You Find During Marathons


1.     I am Rich’s athletic supporter.   Good and original.
2.     Run like you stole something.   Huh?  I get a bad vibe from that.  Besides, you’d be sprinting, not running at a measured pace.
3.     13.1 miles ‘cause you’re only ½ crazy.  Okay
4.     Get that Kenyan!  Ridiculous! I once saw a sign at Boson: “Kenyans, six miles ahead”. That’s more appropriate.
5.     Two women with signs, first one “Go Hard” and second, “That’s what she said!”  Titillating and to the male mind, inspiring
6.     Fancy a piggy-back?  Funny
7.     Young female holding, “I love endurance. Call me!” with an actual phone number!  See answer 5.
8.     Run now, beer later!  Always appropriate and I am usually thinking about that anyway!
9.     Don’t stop, people are watching!  Meh
10.   Your perspiration is my inspiration.  OK.  While I think the person holding the sign probably already gets physical fitness, I do hope my running inspires others.
11.   Worst parade evcr!  Don’t know why, but this annoys me.
12.  You feel like crap, but you look good.  Better than when people yell later in a marathon “Looking good!” because you know you don’t.
13.  Smile if you peed a little…  Umm, I’d rather smile because I hadn’t.
14.  Why do all the cute ones run away?  This is apparently for female runners.  As an older male, I now find myself among a lot of female runners.  So it’s good!
15.  Run Fast, I just Farted.  It works with the young girl holding the sign.  Not so much if it were an adult(see 4 in the next group).
16.  You are all Kenyans. Toll Booth Ahead. Exact Change Only.   Again, why compare marathoners, despite the size of the feat doing one is, to the best in the world?  The rest would have been funny if it were actually at a place where cars had to pay tolls.
17.  I’m sure it seemed like a good idea 4 months ago.  Not bad, particularly late in the miles when one is feeling the pain and wondering.  There are several variations of this that I have seen.
18.  It’s all about winning! Accompanied by a picture of Charle Sheen.  Eh! Not really and anyone having that sign doesn’t understand.
19.  You’re all crazy!  Right you are!
20.  You are 2 legit 2 quit!  That’s encouraging to people who are suffering pain from the sore muscles.  It’s foolish advice if someone is seriously hurt.
21.  Pain is just weakness leaving your body.  OK, I understand the encouragement.  On my best runs, I have been able to push though the pain and not slow down too much.  On bad days, I have slowed down a lot with the pain.  But the pain is from muscles, tendons and jointed that have taken more stress than they are used to receiving.  Some of the pain is going to linger or even intensify for a few days after the marathon.  Also I know the muscles I have been using are generally much weaker at the end than at the beginning.  That’s why a little hill over 20 miles in can feel like a major climb and force me to walk. So the saying has it all wrong.
22.  The Nails are for Sissies.  Wrong, wrong, wrong! I understand that losing a nail is more probable in a trail marathon.  It should never happen in a road marathon. If it does, you’ve either tied your shoes too loosely, allowed your feet to slide forward to hit the inside of the toe box or your are not wearing a big enough size.  In now 139 marathons, many on trails, I have never had a problem with a toenail getting bruised, much less having one fall off.
23.  Touch here for Power (with some sort of symbol on the sign).   These signs show up in the late miles.  I get that it is meant to be encouraging, but I have never touched a sign. I don’t believe in superstitions.
24.  The End is Near! (at the Mile 25 sign).  I love it! Gallows humor at it’s best.

OK, here are more signs from this website:
http://running.competitor.com/2015/10/photos/25-marathon-spectator-signs-we-love_136577. I won’t review anything similar to what I have mentioned already.

25.  Smile.  Remember, you paid for this!  Ha ha!
26.  Left Foot   Right Foot   Repeat!!!  Like it!
27.  Our parents are running 26.2 …and we’re lazy as shit.  Why do get the feeling the parents helped with the signs?
28.  Always give 100%     except when giving blood.  Of course marathoning is about measured pacing, not going all out, but still clever.
29.  May the Course be with you.  Excellent take on a familiar saying.  BTW, this sign was a Carlsbad, CA., which I did.  The course was definitely NOT with me.
30.  It’s a Hill.  Get over it.  10K to the finish.  Funny, considering muscles are pretty depleted 20 miles into a marathon.
31.  Free beer & SEX at finish. Hurry up.  Definitely appealing to the male mind.
32.  Naked Cheerleaders Next Mile.  Ditto
33.  Are We There Yet?.  Meh. Also the guy was crossing the finish line. After running with the sign?
34.  Those Shorts Make You Look Fast.  Thanks!
35.  Blisters are in Season.  I have only had one blister in a marathon – at Boston when I did not tie my shoe tight enough.  I stopped and took a pin and drained the blister and was fine after that.
36.  Your legs hurt because You’re kicking Ass-phalt.  So true!
37.  There is no time limit on Greatness.  Encouraging, but it all depends on your expectations based on past accomplishments.
38.  My butt is going to look so good after this. Definitely a sign for a female. Personally, I sometimes see myself in a store window and think that I definitely am not moving like the typical 72 year-old and I am thankful that I can continue to run.
39.  Maybe I should just pee my pants.  Nope.  If I’m having a bad day, I have no problem stopping for relief.  If I’m having a good day, I’m probably sweating enough that I am not going to have to go.
40.  I’m the sh*t, I’m the sh*t, I’m the sh*t.  Well, I may be thinking that, but I don’t want a sign pointing it out.
41.  Marathoners make better lovers.  There’s that male titillation again.
42.  Nothing will twerk unless you do.  Cool pun on cultural phenomenon.
43.  No time for Walken (with picture of Christopher Walken).  Clever.
44.   You are NOT almost there!  I’ve heard you are almost there so many times when I am NOT almost there. 
45.  If you want to cry, do it now! (in the middle of extreme conditions)  Yep!